We arrived safely in England last night - to the land that brought you the best sports, real humour, proper manners, personal hygiene, the stiff upper lip, unparalleled learning and literature, to the land that brought you tea (shut up, Indians), glorious food (shut up everyone else in the world), the Opium wars, Margaret Thatcher, and everything else worth anything at all. It’s nice to come home.On the plane, we were stuck behind two libidonically energised young people who couldn’t stop talking. Loudly. And boy did they have opinions … on everything. Being unfortunately forced to listen to their non-stop opinionating, I couldn’t help note the odd logical non sequiturs, use of the old post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy, question begging, not to mention the use anecdotal evidence to prove a point etc.
Of course, my teeth were grinding like two bunnies in a sleeping bag, but there was more. One of them continued falling into numerous horrendous (circumstantial) Ad Hominem arguments, not to mention the old Ad Hominem Tu Quoque fallacy. If this was not enough, the person in question also saw fit to employ the erroneous rhetorically “misleading vividness”, guilt by association and hasty generalisation tactics.
By this point I was getting ready to use the edge of my Church of England prayer book as a lethal weapon, and forever finish their argumentation methods. I wanted, oh so wanted to see how far I could shove my travel ESV bible down their throats.
But I didn’t. I just sat there angrily wearing down the enamel of my teeth, totally under control.
Behold my Christmas spirit.
14 comments:
You should have told them that there was no Santa and called it a day! ;-)
ESV Bible? Are you kidding me? It sounds like you are the one who needed something shoved down your throat. And, wouldn't you in turn have been committing a form of argumentum ad baculum?
But you forget... Probably everyone else on the plane was getting annoyed too. By whipping some sense into them, you would have given a gift to everyone else. Objections to violence be darned.
You can take the boy out of England...
I'd suggest tossing that old nonsense 'TNTATPOG' at them but some very important international scholar might become the target of their next ad hominem...
Tommie I told you to stay off that computer and get back in your dungeon where you can write some more of those sottish books that your faithful sycophants love so much. Now leave this Tilling person alone- he's already one of yours.
Now mum, i believe you confused me with your brother Rudy when you mentioned the dungeon err disastrous epistemology i mean....
I really hope that Margaret Thatcher is there as the nadir of English contributions to the world, rather than its zenith
I was one of the people sitting in front of you!
Perhaps while you are home you can talk some sense into the ol blighty Tony Snow who wandered off to Rome!
a patience above and beyond any saint who was ever sainted - even St Kevin would be humbled before you
Owen, only those who read ESV are sound.
Tom Wright, thanks for stopping by. Nice beard.
Thank you, psychodougie, I was quite amazed at my holiness too.
I am currently writing a book: How to be Holy Like Me. Kind of apropriate, huh?
Smart Alec, I will try ...
Sean, what are you saying, you filthy lefty?!
Just in case you are planning a few "drive-by baptisms" while home, I hope you are aware of a new law some people in your homeland are working on. . . . that motorists who drive through a puddle and splash pedestrians be fined up to £2,500.
That's a lot of Brill books my friend.
crikey, Ben, you are not wrong. Drive-by baptisms in face masks, then.
Post a Comment