Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Titles I would purchase

  1. Marvel Comics: Harry Potter meets Benny Hinn
  2. Godzilla gets high on Catholic Incense Before Eating the Dinosaur Models at the Local Creation Science Museum

I think this shows my talent for book titles. Actually, for those of you involved in publishing houses: so that you know, I am willing to offer my advice on book titles, and I can assure you I will help sell your books.

For example, in 1989 William F. Fisher submitted a thesis entitled The participle in the Greek Pentateuch: a descriptive analysis and comparison to New Testament usage.

No wonder this Southwestern Baptist Theol. Seminary dissertation only made it to Microfilm. Had I been asked for advice it would have sold. Sure, I would have titled it slightly misleadingly as Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Covered in Maple Syrup and Marmite. But it would have sold more.

Plus the author's name could do with jazzing up a bit. William Fisher? Fair enough, but "DJ Higher Criticism" or "MC Evil Death Hammer" have a more marketable ring to them. Come to think of it, isn't it about time that theological merchandise hit the Christian pop scene with a bit more impact? How about pictures of Bishop Tom Wright on duvet covers? Or Bultmann's head shaped erasers made to smell of Qumran Khirbet? (Notice I avoided calling them "rubbers", which may have generated potential misunderstanding in the US...)

9 comments:

Jim said...

well noted. i've often wondered why people pick the stupidest titles for their dissertations. jazz it up. live a little.

one like those you've suggested would sell much better than bishop spong's moronic filth.

Will said...

Notice I avoided calling them "rubbers", which may have generated potential misunderstanding in the US...

Well, better than my wife the first time in a British primary school class room telling a kid to put a 'period' ('full stop') at the end of a sentence - and this after the class had finished sex ed!

Terry said...

Jim, Bishop Spong's Moronic Filth sounds like a good title for a book in itself...

Chris Tilling said...

Jim, perhaps I could sell even my own thesis with just a few adjustments...

Chris Tilling said...

Thanks for the smile, Will. I hope she managed to live that down!

Josh McManaway said...

I had a friend from Germany, who had learned British English, come to the states for graduate work. While in class, he leaned over to an American female student and asked, "Do you have a rubber?" Fortunately, another one of our friends was there to explain.

Jason Pratt said...

Does anyone else here think that this post absolutely needs a dancing MC Hammer graphic with William Fisher's face pasted on?

JRP

Chris Tilling said...

:-))

Prup (aka Jim Benton) said...

In the words of the Great student of Lobachevsky -- as channelled by Tom Lehrer:
"Metro-goldwyn-moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles,
Changing title to THE ETERNAL TRIANGLE
With Brigitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse."