On being persecuted

First, Ben points out my recent drive-by-baptism fiasco where I was unfortunately caught by a camera. Second, Jim West continues to post lies on my good name, all under the rubric 'Where in the world in Chris Tilling now?'. And third, Scott Bailey, who really should know better, has posted a slur about me in a swimsuit – really a though worthy of a nosebleed if ever there was one.

I, of course, officially deny everything. That I am writing this from prison, with a very angry (and wet) freshly baptised 'believer' being restrained by four policemen from beating me, and that my swimsuit is starting to feel uncomfortable, is besides the point.

'Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you' (Matthew 5:12). Amen. Scott, Ben, Jim, your persecutory actions only prove I am righteous.