My wife and I had a ‘discussion’ tonight over which film to watch on TV. For some reason she wanted to watch some romantic pap (‘I love you’, ‘kiss me’ etc), while I energetically voted for the more sensible Army of Darkness. Naturally, she won, though in retrospect I think I should start throwing my (considerable) weight around here a bit more often.‘What? Touchy-feely nonsense film? No, woman! Bring on the Zombies (and that crazed bloke with the chainsaw)’.
After I married my lovely German wife, one of the first and best books I read was a novel by Mil Millington: Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. The story involves a comical look at the relationship between a German lady and an English man living in London, something the author was able to probe rather nicely give that he is indeed in a long term relationship with a German.
To get an idea of the sort of humour you can expect, have a look here - a list of things they argue about (well, I thought it was funny).
Also amusing is Mil’s Apology Homepage, a list of people, nations, companies etc that should apologise, and why. E.g.
From the impassioned:
‘The gormless shitsacks who broke into my car should apologise: for not having the decency to have died very young when it would still have been a tragedy’
To the sensible:
‘Lou Perleman should apologise: and then be hit in the head with a brick for starting the so-called boy-band craze’
And the theological:
‘God should apologise: for taking Douglas Adams and leaving George W. Bush’
Admittedly, the last ‘apology request’ is the feeble justification for publishing this post on a blog supposedly dedicated to *coughs awkwardly* biblical exegesis and theological discussion.
(Image via http://www.sfondideldesktop.com/Images-Movies-0.htm)
6 comments:
Chris, I saw a hilarious skit once called "He said, She said," (no relation to the sappy movie of the same title). It REALLY captured some of the hilarious differences in the way women and men think.
The skit is performed with 5 people: 2 male and 2 female and a narrator of either gender. It involves a conversation between a man and a woman on the way home from a date. The other two voices are what's going on in the couple's heads. It is very funny because it is so far from what the other THINKS is going on there.
I'll sketch the idea:
1)She: Do you realize that this is our 6th month anniversary? We've been dating 6 months from tonight.
2) He: 6 months, huh?
Narrator: In his silence, she begins to wonder if something is wrong? She thinks:
3) Oh, no. Have I scared him off? Am I pressuring him to commit too soon? Is he silent because he is uncomfortable and thinks I am pressuring him?
4) He thinks: Yeah, that's right, it was 6 months because I had this engine tuned that same week. And you know the timing on this thing has never really worked right since. Why I ought to. . .
And on it goes. Hilarious stuff.
Okay, I give up. What does "gormless" mean?
That list of arguments-with-my-girlfriend is priceless!
Okay, as a lowly American I have no idea what a "wormery" is, but that list is hilarious.
Men and women have so much trouble communicating (although I became more grateful for Kate with every line about Margret) that I sometimes wonder that ANY heterosexual couple ever stays together. Really, gays & lesbians at least have the advantage of similar thought processes. Plus, sharing chores, etc. CANNOT slip back into gender stereotypes.
We straight types have to work harder. I am, however, thankful that, as hard as I have to work sometimes with Kate, it is a breeze compared with Mil and Margret.
Thanks for the smile, Michael!
Hi Chris,
gormless adj :
dork, foolish, lacking sense
JB, well that's just crazy. Next thing they'll be making Left Behind games ...
One thing I learned living in Germany: Germans are NEVER wrong.
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