If you are a churchgoer you may have a tradition of choosing a bible verse for those being baptised or confirmed. Kid 1 comes to the front, is either dunked, sprinkled, or awarded a piece of paper, and is given a bible verse too. Kid 2 does the same but receives a different bible verse. They are usually of the 'God is with you' sort, which is fair enough. But I thought it would be interesting to swap some of the texts the night before to spice things up a bit in the service, and to provide a tad more variety.
To give to the porky one (yea, yea, porky like me. I saw that one coming):
Judges 3:17 'Then he presented the tribute to King Eglon of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man' (Fat like you)
To give to the one that annoys you:
1 Chronicles 1:24-26 'Shem, Arpachshad, Shelah; Eber, Peleg, Reu; Serug, Nahor, Terah' (Get some existential soul-stroke out of that one, sonny)
To give to the whimpering spotty one with no friends:
Hosea 1:6
'Then the LORD said to Hosea, "Call her Lo-Ruhamah"' (explain Lo-Ruhamah means 'not loved')
Or if you think that is a bit too mean, you could unleash the following on the spotty one:
Jude 23 'hating even the coat from the flesh spotted' (for particularly spotted flesh)
3 comments:
ha!
I don't even want to know where SoSongs 8:8 fits in.
Song of Songs 8:8!! Darn it, I wish I had thought of that!
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